Finding Forgiveness Through Love
Love. It’s a simple word. It carries a large meaning.
Or does it? In our society, the word love is often used to express our feelings about anything and everything.
I love chocolate. I love hearing the waves crash along the shore. I love the boyband One Direction (seriously, I do). I love the fall season. I love my mom and dad. I love my job. I love Chinese food. I love my husband. I love college basketball. I love watching all the High School Musicals back to back in one day.
We use the same word to express a wide range of feelings and emotions, and we rarely take time to explain the difference. I mean, people should just know there’s a difference. Right?
Probably so, but what about when we say we love like Jesus? What does that mean?
Jesus describes love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
Wow. If that’s the standard of love, how do you and I measure up? Can we honestly say we love as Jesus does?
I like to think we try. I mean, we share messages of love and kindness on our social media accounts. We encourage our children to treat others with kindness. Perhaps, we even wear t-shirts with slogans like “Be Kind”, “All We Need is Love”, “Treat People with Kindness”, or “Love Everyone.”
But when loving someone gets hard, do we dig in and carry on in love?
What about when someone disappoints us? What about when someone lies? What about when our hearts are broken? What about when we get hurt? What about when someone’s actions turn our world upside down?
During those times, it’s tough to choose love. We don’t want to be kind. We don’t want to love. If we are truthful, it’s often the furthest thing from our minds.
Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
I Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
“What? But God? You don’t understand! You know what happened! I don’t want to love them right now. How can I just forgive them? I agreed to love others, but I didn’t say anything about forgiving.”
Anyone else have a conversation like this with God? It’s easy to say we try to love like Jesus, but when you throw in hurt and a need for forgiveness, things begin to fall apart.
Forgiveness requires more of us.
Forgiveness requires us to let go.
Forgiveness requires sacrifice.
Forgiveness requires Christlike love.
In Luke 23:24, as Jesus hung on the cross, he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” It seems unfathomable to me that in that moment Jesus was still willing to forgive. He had been mocked and tortured, suffered great pain and agony, and was facing certain death, but He endured it all without anger and offered forgiveness even in his final moments.
And then I’m reminded why…because he LOVES us.
1 John 4:10 says, “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”
Jesus loves you. Jesus loves me. Jesus loves everyone. It’s an unfailing love that even in our worst moments offers comfort and forgiveness.
And he asked us to do the same for others. Actually, he commanded us to in John 13:34:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
I know what you’re thinking: How? How can we begin to not only love like Jesus but forgive like Jesus as well?
I think we start with the following steps.
1. Accept the love that Jesus has for you.
Believe it or not, this can be difficult. Many of us don’t feel worthy of His love. We have expectations and standards for ourselves that hold us back. Perfectionism can box us in and make us feel as though we must work to earn God’s love. Others of us have experienced hurt and rejection in our lives, and the idea of unconditional love is simply foreign.
1 John 3:1 says, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!”
When I was growing up in church, people often referred to God as a loving father who wanted to spend time with you and help you and who loved you no matter what. I had a hard time with that comparison. My father spent very little time with me. Honestly, he made it abundantly clear that he preferred to spend his time doing his favorite activities not hanging out with me. He never helped with anything really; promises made were often broken. After my parents divorced, my mom remarried. For the first time in my life, I had a dad who put me first. He enjoyed time with me, chose to spend his time and energy on things important to me, assisted me with projects, and showed me I was loved. My stepdad didn’t have to do any of those things. But in his eyes, I was his child and deserving of everything he had to offer. It was the truest picture of God’s love for me that I had ever experienced.
2. Leave your hurt at Jesus’ feet.
When you experience hurt, it can consume you. Hurt has the ability to work its way into every part of your life if you aren’t careful. Fear of being hurt again can keep us from stepping out in love.
Rick Warren said, “To begin loving people today, we must close the door on the past. And that cannot happen without forgiveness! Forgive those who have hurt you—for your sake, not because they deserve it.”
Choosing forgiveness after a hurt is a big deal, and it’s not an easy choice. Those hurts are real and painful.
Remember when you were little, and you’d fall and scrape your hands and knees? If you were like me, you got right up and rushed straight to Mama; she could always make things better with some snuggles and magic healing kisses. I remember how those magic kisses seemed to lose their power when it came to broken hearts and hurt feelings, but I still ran to Mama’s arms. Being in her presence and talking to her just seem to take away the hurt and make me feel better.
It’s the same with Jesus. Psalms 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Those hurts that consume us and leave us feeling broken would be much easier to bear if we snuggled up with Jesus and talked to him about it. When we make it a practice to leave our hurts at Jesus’s feet, we are choosing forgiveness. We are leaving our burdens behind, so we can freely love others.
3. Live a life worthy of your calling.
John 13:35 says, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
We are called to love one another. Our love for others should be so evident that it proves to the world that we represent Jesus. That task is easy as long as we are loving others who are kind, happy, generous, and likeminded, but it’s a different story when it comes to those who are rude, angry, mean, or hurtful.
Luke 6:32-36 says, “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.”
Mother Theresa said, “If we really want to love, we must learn to forgive.” If we want to love like Jesus loves, we must start learning to forgive as he forgives. It will not be easy, and we might struggle with it at first. But in the end, we’ll be living the life we were called to live.
Colossians 3:12-14: “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”
Love is simple.
Forgiveness is hard.
Love requires forgiveness.
Finding forgiveness through love…easier than expected.
Robert Muller said, “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
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