5 Signs You May Be Legalistic - And What To Do If You Are
Have you ever encountered a legalistic person? If so, I bet it didn’t go well. Being judged never feels good, does it?
Sadly, most Christians would say they know a legalist. And most would never think that they, themselves, are a legalist, but chances are you might be.
The legalistic spirit exists in all of us from birth. And when I say, legalistic, what I mean is the idea that righteousness can be obtained by works and apart from God’s grace. Basically, it’s human nature to feel that you must do good in order to earn the favor of God.
Ask just about any person, “How do you get to heaven?” and they are almost sure to say, “Be a good person.” So, it should not be a surprise that there is a constant battle in the church as we go against the spirit we were born into.
With the help of Tim Keller and his book “Prodigal God”, I have been fascinated with the often neglected important lessons from the older brother in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32).
I believe most people can possess the tendencies of both the elder and the younger brother. But I think it can be easier for Christians, especially Christians who’ve grown up in the church, to become “proud” of their faith and to slip into tendencies of the elder brother.
Here are signs that you struggle with being the “older brother”.
You look to control God by being ‘good’
Even our goodness can be a stumbling block if we think we can control God through it. Signs to look for:
I never feel like I have done enough to earn God’s approval.
I feel that God owes me because I have worked so hard for him.
You get very angry when life doesn’t go right
If this is true for you, generally, there are two kinds of anger when life doesn’t go well: I’m bad and I’m worthless OR I am valuable so God owes me. Signs to look for:
I get angry at God when things don’t go well.
You hate “the law” but do it anyway
The older brother in the parable said things like, “I have followed your orders. I have slaved for you.” In other words, he did what the father asked out of obligation, not heart. Signs to look for:
I follow the commands of the Bible begrudgingly thinking that I am missing out on fun.
I secretly see how close to the line I can get.
You have trouble forgiving
No one would ever admit this out loud to anyone, but really think about this one. The longer you are a Christian, the more you will struggle with thinking things like, “I would never do something like that.” In reality, when we understand grace and ourselves, we understand that all of us are capable of all kinds of sin. Signs to look for:
I struggle to forgive people who have wronged me.
I think, “I would never do that!”
You lack joy
When you first started following Jesus, there was a lot of joy. Everything seemed like a party. But as time has gone on, your joy has faded. You know that there is a party going on, but just like the older brother, for reasons you may not even know, you refuse to go in. Signs to look for:
I spend my time angry at life, my circumstance, or others.
I don’t know how to laugh and just enjoy God’s presence.
So, what can you do to overcome the older brother syndrome?
If you see some of yourself in the above — I certainly do at times — the good news is that we have a Father who hasn’t stopped inviting us to the party. Despite all the service and activities we hold up to prove our worth, our Heavenly Father is more concerned with the state of our heart than he is our rigid obedience. Our worth is not in what we have done, it is in who He sees us as.
At the end of this parable, the father has to explain to the older brother why such a party was thrown. It’s not because the younger son deserved the party. It is simply because the Father loved the younger son, and now, he had come home. It was all about grace.
If you struggle with the older brother syndrome, here are some quick thoughts to ponder.
You cannot earn salvation.
There is nothing you can “do” to earn God’s gift. While obedience to God is a natural part of being a Christian, do not cross the line into thinking that your obedience has earned you anything. Salvation is truly a gift.
You are not as perfect as you think yourself to be.
What the older brother in us needs is a healthy dose of grace. As hard as we may try, Jesus did for us what we could never do for ourselves. The gospel of grace displayed in Christ should move us to live as those who have been changed by such a great gift.
You cannot manipulate God.
When the older brother refused to come to the party, he thought he could manipulate the father into doing what he wanted. Do not believe that by pointing out all the flaws in someone else you make yourself look any better in God’s eyes. As the old saying goes, “You can never do anything to make God love you more and you can never do anything to make God love you less."
This parable leaves us asking: will the older brother join the party? This doesn’t need to be a question left unanswered in our lives. Pressing forward, let’s celebrate the salvation of those who need God’s grace as much as we did and still do.
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